


The only one.

by omgbellamy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 5x03, Angst, Bellarke, Bellarke Endgame, Developing Relationship, Episode: s05e03 Sleeping Giants, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Minor Becho, Reunions, Romance, Sad, Sexual Tension, Talking, eligus, madi is basically bellarke's child, relationship mentions cause we all about that in this house, soft bellarke, the 100 season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 22:05:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14627970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgbellamy/pseuds/omgbellamy
Summary: Clarke and Bellamy 5x03, reunion. Longer. Clarke and Bellamy finally talk and let themselves say everything they wanted to after six years.





	The only one.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! It's been forever, but blarke got a hold of me again after 5x03 and now I'm certified trash again. Here's my fic for it. Spoilers for 5x03 obviously, apologies for grammar and lack of editing in advance, I'll fix it later. Enjoy!

“She is.” He utters the words and it’s like a damn has burst. Clarke trembles with the weight of the words combined with her exhaustion. He’s here. He’s really here, trading all those lives for hers. Just one.

I’m not worth it, she wants to tell him. You should’ve ran when you had the chance. But she knew he would never leave her, not completely, not ever.

Their leader eyes Bellamy for a second, taking his words in. Bellamy doesn’t miss the look she exchanges with her second-in-command. He figures his words could come to bite him in the ass later.

But then he sees her. Really sees her and it’s like seeing a ghost. Clarke’s crying silently, but she’s looking at him as if she also can’t quite believe it’s real. He sees her lips twitch, but she says nothing. 

“Release her,” the woman says grudgingly. 

“What the fuck, Charmayne?” the man holding Clarke grunts. Bellamy’s hands twitch at his sides. He wants to do something, but he’s not the guy anymore. He’s not Bellamy ‘whatever the hell we want’ anymore. He thinks now he’s grown up, being almost thirty and now he’s learnt to use his head. Like helped him to do.

“If we don’t they’re going to kill 238 of our people! We’re out of options here. We can come to an agreement. We’re not animals.”

The soldiers around don’t say anything or object. Bellamy breathes an internal sign of relief. Didn’t screw it up this time, Reyes.

“Negotiating is only gonna get us killed. You know what happened before, Charmayne.”

Charmayne, the leader, closes her eyes for a moment, before signalling for Clarke’s binding and her shock collar to be released.

“Consider yourselves lucky this time. Get cleaned up. Then we’ll talk.”

Bellamy gives her a brief nod.

They release Clarke and push her toward Bellamy. Exhausted, Clarke almost falls again. The pain they had inflicted on her made her feel weaker than she’d felt for a long time. Life had been – dare she say – peaceful for the past few years with Madi. She didn’t have to fight anyone anymore. It was cathartic. All they had to do was survive, which was reasonable with Eden and new food and animals becoming available to them.

Clarke stumbles forward and Bellamy catches her.

Bellamy says nothing; now isn’t the time to talk Not until they’re alone. He leads her to a building a way down the path, down to the church that sits almost untouched. Bellamy sees a few of Charmayne’s men follow behind them, a clear reminder that they’re not yet entirely alone. 

“Let’s get you in here, huh?” Bellamy speaks to her in his softest voice, because he sees how mentally and physically drained Clarke is. She looks exhausted, as if she could pass out at any second.

He pushes open the doors to the wooden church, seeing the guards stand outside. “That’s far enough,” he tells them firmly, and they don’t argue.

“There’s…there’s a med kid stashed behind the altar,” Clarke tells him. He wonders for a moment how much time she spends here if she keeps a spare med kit. He wonders if she spent nights praying to a questionable god about if she would ever see them again, about Madi and her mother.

 

Bellamy sits Clarke down on one of the benches.

He gets a cloth and dampens it with some water from a canteen she keeps there. Clarke assures him its fresh. She’s broken and when he crouches down and brings the cool cloth to her face, she opens her eyes again, startled.

“Sorry,” he says softly, giving her a gentle smile. She doesn’t have the heart to smile back, or even look at him right now. 

He notices her eyes are closed and that she’s still not breathing normally. He figures its due to her anxiety and being separated from Madi.

“Madi’s safe,” he tells her. “She took the rover out of sight, back to your home. I’ve got her on walkie-talkie that Monty found on the Ring. You can talk to her now if you want.”  
Bellamy hands her a walkie talkie, and Clarke gives a sigh of relief.

“Thank you,” she manages. It pains her slightly, reminds of how she talked to him every day on her own radio. Too bad she’d left it in the rover.

Bellamy puts it on for her. There’s static and then, a moment. “Bellamy?” Madi asks.

“No. It’s Clarke, baby.” Clarke could almost cry hearing her voice. She really thought today she was going to lose her girl. She never thought she’d do it. She never thought she’d get both of them back now.

“Clarke! Bellamy saved you?”

Clarke glances at Bellamy over her shoulder. She smiles to herself. “Yeah. We’re ok. We’re at the church.”

“Are you coming back?” Clarke’s heart clenches. She wants nothing more than to shoot every last one these people for laying a hand on Madi or even attempting to kill her, but she knows they need their alliance. They need peace to stay alive and to open the bunker. So she can get her mom back, so Bellamy can get Octavia back and the rest of their people.

“Soon. Are you safe?” she asks, just for good measure.

“I’m fine. Bellamy sent me away before he came. Did you see? I’m with your friends, Clarke: Monty, Echo, Emori and Harper.”

Clarke sighs in relief that Madi’s ok. But then she registers that Murphy and Raven aren’t with them.

“Had to stay in space,” Bellamy mouths, and Clarke nods. She’ll get the details later.

“Well you stay put, ok Madi. Bellamy and I will be back as soon as we can. We have to talk these people first. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Madi says on the other end, and then she’s gone.

 

They spent the next few days in a surprising burst of peace. Clarke finds herself back with everyone again and Madi makes it her mission to know everything about every one of Clarke’s friends. They seem to be getting back into a semblance of normalcy, but Bellamy feels like it’s different. 

What bothers him is that he doesn’t know if it’s in a good or a bad way. Things are not the same, sure and they’re home, but something is missing. He’s anxious whenever he talks to Raven and Murphy; somehow they made the comms work, but he can’t help but feel guilty that they are still up there.

He spends most of his time with Echo. It’s not like he’s actively avoiding Clarke; they just don’t cross paths much At the church, not much had been said. Bellamy realised they were both too busy to stop at that time, and when the moment had felt too intimate and too close, they’d shut it down. Clarke had set up cots for them in the huts in Madi’s village. He understands. Clarke has her hands full, keeping on the lookout for the threat of Eligus and taking care of Madi. They all pitch in, hunting here and there, cleaning here and there and making weapons and being on guard.

Echo, unsurprisingly stays away from Clarke. She finds Bellamy later perched on a rock away from the campfire. Clarke had taken them back to her home. Eden, she’d called it. , and introduced them to Madi. They sit at the campfire with Madi talking animatedly to the newcomers. It was comforting to Bellamy, to hear the sounds of casual conversation again.

It feels reminiscent of their earliest days on the ground when they had campfires every night with Monty’s moonshine and no rules. It felt freeing.  
Bellamy hates that he can’t enjoy it. He can’t stop thinking about his sister: if she is ok and if she is alive. He doesn’t know the answer to either. Octavia is strong and she’s a fighter, but could she avoid starvation and conflict with clashing Grounder clans for six years? Bellamy isn’t so sure.

“Something on your mind?”

Bellamy looked up to find Echo standing next to him. He gives her a grateful smile, and scoots over to make room.

“I thought you’d be the first one over there,” she says, her gaze on the campfire.

“I don’t really feel like it right now,” he finds himself saying. It had become a thing between them. Bellamy feels like he can trust Echo now. Never fully, he thinks, but that’s understandable, but they have an understanding and a relationship where he can share his concerns, secrets and fears. 

“Why?” If there’s one thing he’s learnt about Echo, it’s that she’s direct. He thinks it must’ve been a part of her psyche, being raised as a part of Azgeda’s ruthless clan.

Bellamy doesn’t answer. He doesn’t want to hit a nerve with discussing Octavia or Clarke. He knows Echo, though, she is strong, is scared of what Octavia will do when she gets out of the bunker. Bellamy himself is scared, too. He hasn't seen his sister in six years; he doesn't know who she is any more. 

"What about you?" he asks, looking down at their hands. 

“I’m…adjusting,” she settles on. She doesn’t look at him, but sits with her hand in the space between them on the rock. 

“To being back on Earth?” Bellamy asks.

“Among other things.”

Bellamy nods in understanding. He knows she’s referring to Madi and Clarke. After being…whatever they were for the past two years, he can tell when she’s uneasy. He understands it, with their history and figures its better if Echo keeps her distance from Clarke anyway considering that fact.

“You’re okay though, right? Being here?”

Echo doesn’t answer. Bellamy reaches for her hand. He squeezes it, and Echo sighs.

“It’s ok, Echo. I told you nothing is going to change down here, and I meant it.”

“But thing are already changing Bellamy,” she counters.

Bellamy sighs. “What’s changing?”

“You. Us. This can’t happen down here.”

Bellamy blinks. “Echo, we-”

“Hush, Bellamy. Let me speak. Please.”

This time he doesn’t object.

“You and I…we worked up in space. We had six years of time to kill and nothing but the six of us for company, so it made sense we became friends eventually. And more, once you forgave me. Under the circumstances, we were in a different world. We were safe. We were happy and we had to get on, even if it took three years to do so. But down here the reality is different.”

She takes a breath, then continues.

“Up there, we didn’t know there were any threats waiting for us on the ground. Now we’re just waiting for the Eligus crew to strike and for the clans to be released from the bunker. For your sister.”

“My--”

“We can’t be together any more, Bellamy. Octavia will show no mercy. She’ll kill me before you can even speak to her. And why wouldn’t she? I almost killed her first. Blood must have blood. You know how it works. You won’t make her understand that things are different now, no matter how hard you try. The fact is, we’re living different lives down here with other people.”

Bellamy looks at her questioningly.

“Clarke,” she clarifies and Bellamy stiffens. “I’m not naïve Bellamy. I saw your face when the girl said she was alive. It was like you became whole again. And I know she means a lot to you. I know that you two have something that no other lover can compete with. It was my own wishful thinking that I thought you loved me, even after all our history. I was kidding myself thinking I could measure up to her, when I think I deep down I always knew it was going to be her for you. I knew it, fuck, even Roan knew it. When I saw you in Polis, how angry you got when I held the sword to her throat, I knew it then.”

Bellamy thinks he should protest. He should tell her she’s talking shit, that he wants to ‘be’ with her, in whichever way that is, and that she is not in second to anyone. But he knows she’s right. He knows he never really let go of Clarke, not like he convinced himself he did. The guilt had expanded over the six years. Bellamy kept himself busy in that time, helping Raven or doing whatever he could in the algae farm to keep thoughts of Clarke at bay. It never worked, despite how much he tried, and in the end he figured he’d be carrying her death on his conscience for the rest of his life with all of the other people he’d killed.

Echo unlatches her hand from his, looking pained. She won’t meet his eyes, instead her gaze is fixated on Clarke and Madi who are roasting some fish on the fire.  
“I’m sorry,” is all he can really say and Echo looks at him sadly.

“It’s ok,” Echo says in Trigedasleng, and leaves him there. She leaves without another word, and Bellamy knows there’s a finality in that.

In the dawn, everything seems quiet. Nobody is awake and all Bellamy hears are the tweets of birds indicating the beginning of a new day. They’d had a few formal meetings with Charmayne and some of the Eligus leaders, but it hadn’t been going well. Clarke and Madi had taken Bellamy to the bunker, which essentially was a wasteland now. They’d tried to come up with a plan to dig everyone out, but to no avail.

“We’ll get your sister,” Madi had promised him. For a twelve-year-old, she sure was making big promises. Bellamy had smiled at her and told her he believed they would, too. He wouldn’t let his sister die without a fight knowing how much she’d done to survive in the first place.

“Didn’t think I’d find you here.”

He freezes.

She looks restless herself, he thinks. She gives him a small smile. Her Clarke smile. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“Something like that.”  
“I get it,” she says, and he thinks she’s building towards something. “I don’t sleep well either. Even with Madi.” Clarke doesn’t know why she feels compelled to tell him this. Why are they talking at all now when in the past few days they’ve barely said a word to each other? 

“You don’t?”

“I mean, I sleep better. Much better than before, but I still think about all of them.”

He doesn’t need her to elaborate because he knows who she’s talking about. The people they killed. Every soul weighs on them each and every day. Hell, he held onto hers for six years.  
“I understand,” he says as a way to comfort her. It seems to work, because she doesn’t seem to be afraid anymore as she comes to stand next to him. Still at a distance, but a big difference from having no contact the past couple of days.

“I’m sorry, Clarke,” he says after she doesn’t respond. 

Clarke looks at him. “Don’t,” she says sternly.

“What?”

“Don’t. Don’t do that, Bellamy.” It’s the first strong emotional reaction he’d seen from her to him in six years, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t glad to see it.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t apologise, dammit. You did what you had to do. What I told you to do. You saved everyone by using your head.”

“Not everyone. Not my sister. Not you.” Clarke sighs, watching Bellamy crumble. He’d kept his cool on the Ark, when Murphy had brought up Clarke. He’d only allowed a moment to get angry at the younger boy for reopening his deepest wound. Clarke was a taboo subject up there and everybody knew it. They were too busy to stop and think for a second about her loss. Individually they all did because Clarke meant something to Raven, to Murphy and to Monty and Harper. Even Emori expressed her sadness at her loss.

“Octavia is fine,” Clarke assures him. “Bellamy, she saved the Grounders and our people with the bunker. She’s not helpless or defenceless; you know that. You raised her to be that way. And I’m…I’m here, aren’t I?” 

Bellamy shakes his head determinedly. “I let you down. Both of you. I’m supposed to be there for her, Clarke. I know she doesn’t need me anymore, but…she’s still my sister. You understand that, the need to protect someone no matter what and when you can’t, it hurts you…right?”

Clarke nods. She thinks to when she was captured and they were searching for Madi. All she could think was, Madi, Madi Madi. She couldn’t lose her. She had failed her that day and the promise that she would always protect her was broken. Sure, Madi was fine and she was smart and fierce, but she was still a child. At twelve, Clarke knew nothing of killing and the brutality of survival because she was confined to the security blanket of the Ark. She had a good life and her social circle was kept small. She was naïve. But Madi at twelve knew the harsh realities of the world. Of what it felt like to see the world destroyed and how to kill since down here, it was kill or be killed.

She softens. “I understand,” she assures him with a sigh, “But right now, there’s not much to do. We can find a way – maybe we can negotiate with Eligus, since they have the weapons that could blast the bunker open. I don’t know. But Bellamy don’t feel bad. You did what you had to. You used your head. I’m proud of you. Octavia would be proud of you.” 

Clarke puts a hand on his shoulder, mirroring a time when she herself had been in despair. His comfort had eased her, if only momentarily, and she felt able to continue with their mission then.

“I just need to know she’s ok,” he says desperately.

“Soon,” she promises. “We’ll get them out.”

“You really think so?”

“You still have hope?” she echoes his words from what feels like a lifetime ago.

She remembered, he thinks.

“Are we still breathing?” he replies smoothly.

For a moment, they allow themselves to smile at each other. It’s a really bright smile, and it feels like home when they look at each other, really see each other for the first time in six years.

“Thank you,” Clarke says after a few minutes in the softest possible voice he’s ever heard. Her voice cracks, suddenly and she begins to cry.  
Bellamy gets closer to her, concerned and trails a hand across her face. Her scratches have almost disappeared now, and the purple bruise from the collar on her neck isn’t as prominent any more. She shudders and leans into the touch, huffing a laugh. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop, Clarke. I would’ve saved you in a heartbeat, no question,” he confesses. 

Clarke blanches at his words. She still can’t quite believe what he’d said. He was never that upfront with her about herself before. She’d never heard him say the things she’d said to him, but he didn’t need to. Hearing how important she was to him in that moment had helped, though. It had made her world spin upside down on his axis but centred her also. 

“And you did. You came back to me. You saved Madi, too.” She looks at him now and sees so much in his eyes, tears flowing freely from his own. She’d seen him cry a few times now, but it never ceased to amaze her how much emotion he could show. How vulnerable he could be with her.

“I’m here now. And I’m not leaving you again. Ever, do you hear me? I can’t lose you, again.” His thumb continues to sweep over her face, but this time it’s not to wipe her tears. She knows they both need this, as her own hand mimics his movements on his face. They need the human connection.

“I can’t lose you, either,” she cries. “I thought…I thought you might of heard me, but you never did.”

“Heard you?”

“Yeah,” she whispers, wiping more tears from her face. “I talked to you, everyday Bellamy. Radioed you every day for six goddamn years, hoping you’d show up.”  
“You…you talked to me?” Bellamy says, in awe. For. Six. Years. Six years she spent her time talking to him and he never fucking heard. He never even knew if she was alive. He had no idea.

“Of course, I did. I had to try. I had hope you were alive, all of you. But then you never responded and I started thinking: what if they’re never coming back? What if I’m never going to see them again? I couldn’t handle the idea. I never stopped talking to you, or believing you were there.”

“Clarke.” Bellamy launches forward, pulling her in a hug enough to crush her tiny frame. Clarke lets out a wail into his shoulder, finally letting out years worth of pent up emotions. She reciprocates, holding him as he buries his face into the soft skin of her neck, now smelling like the woods. He even takes a few strands of short blonde and pink hair and lets himself smell her.

Clarke, his mind screams. Clarke. Clarke. Clarke.

He doesn’t know how long they stand there, wrapped up in each other. All he knows is that he needs this. He needs to feel her with him. He needs to be with his best friend. The last few days had been turbulent. They had been so focused on their other plans they hadn’t had a chance to talk or to even just be with each other.

Eventually both pull away slowly. Bellamy’s eyes flit over her face and he realises how much closer they are.

“I missed you,” she whispers. He can see the scar on her face, the mole above her upper lip and her shining blue eyes, still damp with moisture from her tears.

“I missed you, too, Princess,” he whispers back. He revels in the shudder that overcomes her with the oh so familiar nickname. It felt like a different time when he’d called her that, but it also felt like home. She felt like his home.


End file.
